Keys to Making a House a Home..Part II

Bedrooms: Bedrooms play an important role in the family dynamic. Typically, the largest bedroom with the most closet space and closest proximity to its own bathroom is reserved for the “master” or “masters” of the house. This makes sense after all, because if you pay the bills you should get the most comfortable room. If you have let your child or children take over the “master” bedroom, you may want to reconsider this decision and reassert your authority lest they grow up and think they deserve the boss’ office without having earned it.

One of the most common trends in new home design it to make the kid's rooms relatively equal in size with comparable closet space and equal access to a private or semi-private bathroom. While I have yet to find a study which proves that sharing a bedroom or bathroom with a sibling is harmful, many parents are opting to eliminate a common source of frustration amongst their children and put an end to the fight over who gets the bigger bedroom. Having said that; however, don’t be surprised if your young children prefer to share a room…at least for a little while.

Bedrooms are often spaces where a great deal of personalization takes place. Whether it is through the use of built-in reading nooks, hinged bookshelves that reveal a secret hiding space, or the use of simply unique furnishings, finishes, or lighting fixtures; the bedroom has evolved into a reflection of individual taste and character. The master bedroom often becomes a place of renewal and rest where a couple may retreat after a hectic day. Bedroom orientation, proximity to the street and other ‘public’ spaces, as well as proper proportions and lighting contribute to the success or failure of your bedroom’s ability to provide the character and sense of sanctuary you desire. Remember, bigger isn’t always better. There are spaces that benefit from a more intimate feel and the master bedroom may function better as a space that encourages coming together as opposed to providing more space for you to be apart.



Bathrooms: Of all the spaces in the home to grow in size over the past few decades, the bathroom has probably expanded the most. It is not uncommon for clients to request a “His” and “Hers” master bathroom layout. After all if the master bedroom is a space that encourages intimacy, the master bath is becoming a space that asserts privacy. There is such a thing as too much sharing and the fact that couples are choosing to limit their exposure to each other’s more utilitarian functions is not surprising. The same desire for privacy is also extending to our children and guests. More and more homes now have private or semi-private bathrooms attached to the children’s and guest bedrooms. This arrangement is also more comfortable for homes where grown children return to visit with their families as well. A well designed bathroom can provide privacy without wasting a ton of space. Many builder homes simply spread out all the plumbing fixtures leaving a virtual dance floor in the bathroom which is inefficient, uncomfortable, and difficult to clean. There are much better ways to design bathrooms to have a relaxing feel while also providing an adequate amount of personal space.

The 1960’s mainstreamed the use of semi-private bathrooms with the birth of the ‘Jack-n-Jill’ bathroom concept. The “Brady Bunch” television series made this concept even more popular and builders and plan book homes have adopted these designs and marketed them as if they were gold. The advantage to a Jack-n-Jill bathroom is that it provides some privacy for multiple users without having to provide completely separate bathrooms for each bedroom. The amount of privacy varies significantly. The layouts generally consist of either two half baths (containing a vanity and toilet) with access to a shared tub/shower room between them or two private vanity spaces with access to a shared tub/shower and toilet room between them. What builders and plan book designers don’t tell you is that a poorly designed Jack-n-Jill bathroom will cost you more than two well designed private bathrooms and will not add the same amount of value to your home in the end. Although, a well designed Jack-n-Jill bathroom can give family members the ability to get ready in the mornings without as much conflict and with additional privacy.



These are just a few of the ways to make your house a home. A home is the place where you spend the most amount of time with the people who mean the most to you. It is generally one of your largest financial investments and most overlooked assets. It can bring you protection, comfort, security, and joy. Your house is a tool meant to be used to foster and encourage a strong sense of family and a place you are proud to call “home”.

Keys to Making a House a Home...

Think about it, our homes have evolved hand in hand with our culture. As a migratory species our homes were mobile and temporary. Once we became settlers, they became more permanent too. The size was dictated by our available resources and their design was a reflection of how our families functioned. Families began to labor less and recreate more. Homes began to have spaces dedicated to our leisure rather than our need.

The average house size in 1950 was 1,000 square feet, while the average house size in 2000 had doubled to 2,070 square feet. Likewise, the divorce rate inflated along with the size of homes, quadrupling from the years 1950 to 2000. Is there a connection? Would life be perfect if we all downsized? No, our homes are not solely to blame for the ills of society, but when expertly designed they can help to foster a strong sense of family and encourage neighbors to support one another. Our homes can help or hinder our quality of life. In my opinion, these are some of the elements of a house that transform it into a family home:

The Front Porch: Initially designed as a functional and necessary part of the home, the front porch has been largely eliminated or reduced in modern homes. The advent of central air conditioning made it possible for families to stay in their homes day and night with comfort. There was no need to retreat to the front porch in the late afternoons to escape summer’s sweet heat. We were no longer forced to congregate in rocking chairs and porch swings sharing greetings with neighbors and family members. We were free to stay indoors and sever the ties that bind us to our communities. We became so accustomed to our privacy that we even began building large, ugly fences around our yards just in case a neighbor might be in their yard at the same time we were in ours. Yet we wonder why people can’t just get along. Creative design and integration of indoor and outdoor living spaces is crucial to forming links between ourselves and our community.

The Family Room: Our homes have always been the place where our family comes to gather. A house with a central Family room that encourages congregation, nurtures our need to belong. Most homes have this room. It does not have to be overly large or contain vaulted ceilings and vast expanses of glass, but it does have to be comfortable. It also has to be accessible from the other nurturing spaces of our home, like the kitchen and porch. The beauty of this space can be ruined by too much openness and too much competition. Recent trends in house designs leave all the living spaces open to one another providing visual separation through the use of columns or half walls. The problem with too much openness is that there is no one space where people can gather and connect on a meaningful level without distraction from adjoining spaces. The other problem is too much competition from other gathering spaces such as the media room, playroom, recreation room, music room, computer room, and bedroom. When a home has more gathering spaces than people, there is no need to be together.

The Kitchen: Kitchens have evolved into the heart of a home. They are a magnet for guests and provide ample entertainment for curious toddlers. It only makes sense that the kitchen has become a significant place in our family life. Kitchens serve a very necessary service by allowing us the means to store, cook, and serve our families with basic daily nourishment, but they are also the places where many American families share their heritage and traditions. Passing down family recipes, embellished with stories of the men and women who perfected them in the first place, coupled with exploration of new and exciting dishes or simply popping cookie dough squares from the carton to the oven. All of these activities bring joy to our families and connect us to our roots. Provided with the right design and connection to adjoining spaces, the kitchen can bring a family together like no other place on earth.

The Rec. Room: While the Family room serves the much needed function of bringing us together on one level, the Rec. room serves to hold us together on another. Any parent who has raised a child from birth to adulthood knows that there comes a time to gather and there comes a time to part. Looking into the eyes of your adoring four year old, you cannot imagine a day when you would believe he came from another planet and you certainly cannot imagine feeling that you wish he still lived there. That day will most likely come whether you are ready or not. This is when the Rec. room helps to hold a family together by allowing you the freedom to be apart under one roof. At some point in your life, your child or even your spouse, will need some space. It is in your best interest to provide that space for them so they can gather with their friends in the safety of your home. Getting to know your child is important, but getting to know their friends is essential. There are many key ingredients that go into the making of a successful Rec. room including adequate size, accessibility to the kitchen and bathroom, sufficient lighting, ease of use, and proper amount of privacy. The right combination of these elements will help you to weather all the seasons of parenting.

The importance of skillful design of bedrooms, bathrooms, dining rooms, and auxiliary spaces is also very high; however, for the purposes of limiting the already excessive length of this blog entry, I will cover them in a separate posting.

As always, I welcome and enjoy your comments. Thanks for reading.